first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize