im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
