But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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