Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
