Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
