you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Omg I joined a choir last night...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
