I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
