His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
