he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He shit in the fireplace
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
