your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My hand turned me down
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
