Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
