My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
