I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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