Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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