You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
