i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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