I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
