WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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