Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
