My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I supernannyed him into submission
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
