I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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