So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
