you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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