It's Friday. Sex?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
