Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just cropdusted the office
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
