Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
