well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
