So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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