i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
