I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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