Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
