Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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