people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
