His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
