I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize