Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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