you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
