Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
