My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize