hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
