I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
