Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
