hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
