i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
