Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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