I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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