I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
