Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
