I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
