I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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