why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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