help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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