what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
