I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
