i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
only you would photoshop your dick
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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