We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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