Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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