yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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