your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
